Ahhhhh Kidz Bop. Since 2001 you have been delighting the ears of tweens. Consequently, you have been making their parent’s ears bleed and minds go numb. Not just the nasally singing/screeching, but also the song choices.
Now, let me just put it out there, my kids listen to songs that most parents would probably not approve of. I don’t keep it on Radio Disney (although, it’s definitely in my favorites list in the car), rather they listen to my XM channels like Hits 1, 90’s on 9, Pop2k, KIIS FM, Z100, and the Heat (R&B hits). On those stations, there are songs that often make me switch the channel, but sometimes I catch the kids singing “It’s getting hot in herrrrrre, so take off all yo clothes!” at the grocery store, and whatever, they are just proud of their St. Louis connection to Nelly?! 😉 This is where I should also admit they know every word to Ozzy Osborne’s Crazy Train & Mr. Crowley. They are just well rounded in the music category.
But… Back to my original
gripe topic, Kidz Bop touts themselves as being “by kids, for kids” but really, it’s probably a group of music execs sitting around the table saying, “How do we sell more CDs to those tweens that buy everything? I know, let’s get some kids to sing the top 10-20 songs out there! We’ll clean up the lyrics so their parents don’t realize they are singing about binge drinking, cheating and BJs. Genius I tells ya!”
I’ll let these 7 songs speak for themselves.
Album: Kidz Bop 2 (2002)
Song: Come on Over Baby
Artist: Christina Aguilera
Song is about: A booty call. “It’s paradise, when you and I, Get close, get tight, One on one I wanna, go all, all night”
Kidz Bop version: Who the hell knows, they cut out most of the song so it’s mostly just the chorus over and over.
Album: Kidz Bop 6 (2004)
Artist: Britney Spears
Song is about: Sex. Drugs. But not Rock n’ Roll. “There’s no escape, I can’t wait. I need a hit, baby give me it” and “With the taste of your lips I’m on a ride”
Kidz Bop version: The SAME lyrics! They didn’t change them!
Album: Kidz Bop 11 (2007)
Song: Lips of an Angel
Song is about: Being all sad that your can’t talk to your mistress with your wife in the room.
Kidz Bop version: I can’t even, but now every time your husband in on the phone, I bet your kid is wondering if he’s talking to his girlfriend.
Album: Kidz Bop 15 (2009)
Song: So What
Song is about: Breaking up with a guy and threatening to kill him. “I guess I’ll go sit with drum boy, At least he’ll know how to hit, What if this song’s on the radio, Then somebody’s gonna die, I’m gonna get in trouble, My ex will start a fight” Not to mention she calls her ex a “tool” and not meaning a hammer or wrench.
Kidz Bop version: “I guess I’ll go sit with drum boy, At least he’ll knows how to sing, What if this song’s on the radio? Somebody’s gonna die, I’m gonna get in trouble, My ex will start a fight” Um, you change hit to sing but keep in the part about the death threat? Nice work. And in case you were wondering, they changed “tool” to “fool”
Album: Kidz Bop 21 (2012)
Song: Moves Like Jagger
Artist: Maroon 5
Song is about: Yeah, not dancing like anyone over the age of 35 thinks it is. “Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you, kiss me ’til we’re drunk and I’ll show you”
Kidz Bop version: “Take me by the hand and I’ll know you, dance until we’re done and I’ll show you” wait… what?!
Album: Kidz Bop 22 (2012)
Artist: Nicki Minaj
Song is about: Getting high, doing whatever you want. “We’re higher than a motherf*cker”
Kidz Bop version: “We’re Kidz Bop and we’re taking over.” o.O
Album: Kidz Bop 26 (2014)
Artist: Pitbull & Ke$ha
Song is about: Binge drinking and BJs “I have ’em like Miley Cyrus, clothes off, Twerking in their bras and thongs, timber. Face down, booty up, timber. That’s the way we like to–what?–timber. I’m slicker than an oil spill, She say she won’t, but I bet she will, timber” and “End of the night, it’s going down, One more shot, another round”
Kidz Bop version: Yeah, they just skipped that first part completely, but changed the second to “End of the day, it’s going down, one more dance, another town” I bet Ke$ha just cried and ruined her 3 day old makeup.
Bonus song: “Let it Go” from the Frozen soundtrack. Like hearing that sung by Demi Levato wasn’t irritating enough 800 times in a row in your car. Now you can listen to other people’s kids sing it over and over.