My Boobs are Squeaking! What Docs don’t tell you about.

If you are my Mother or Mother in Law, or are related to me in any way, shape or form, you can stop reading now. Just skip this post all together…

Phew, now that they are gone, we can get down to business. Squeaky boobs. You read that right. My boobs are making noises only an 11 yr old boy can do in his armpit at dinnertime. Slosh, Squeak, Swish… go the Boobies, Creek, Crack, Slooosh, go the bells… (sung to the tune of Judy Garlands Trolley song from Meet me in St. Louis).

I spent a week in Florida. A glorious week of sun, sand, and singing Mice named Mickey and Minnie. I rode roller coasters, ate wonderful food and thought I broke my boob.

I’m about a year post surgery of having my boobs lifted back up off my stomach and put where God intended them to be after breastfeeding 3 children over the course of 10 years. (You can read about that fun and how I told my children here) As far as I know, boobs aren’t supposed to squeak.

We flew home on Tuesday. Everything was fine and dandy. Until yesterday morning. I did my normal post op squeezing they have you do every day, twice a day for a year, then once a day after that. Only yesterday, things were sloshing around and making alien noises. My first thought was “Holy Hell, Mickey Mouse broke my Boob!” I immediately call my Doc’s office, and continued to baffle them the more I described my symptoms.

“So you say they are swishing?”

“No, sloshing, it’s different”

“AND squeaking?”

“Well the squeak might just be the noise from the sloshing.”

“Would you say they are squishy?”

“I should hope so, I paid good money to have boobs that aren’t rocks.”

“So they are sloshy, squishy and squeaky?”

“Exactumundo!”

“Um, I have no clue what is going on, lets bring you in”

I then thought to myself, Sir Google knows everything… Why don’t I ask him, He does have a PhD and all. And off to google “sloshing boobs” and “breast augmentation makes noisy boobs” and “Squeaky boobs that are squishy and sloshy” and “noisy boobs on a plane” (THAT would be a great sequel!)

Google basically told me “Girl, you is crazy.” Which I already knew. The consensus from the various boobies forums was that due to the constant altitude changes between flights, being at sea level for a week, then back to 5280 feet, that the silicone expanded and contracted so many times it made an air bubble in the pocket under the muscle. Should go away in a couple of days. PHEW!

So a word to the wise… or just the gals looking to get cute post-kids boobs that live in Colorado or any other high altitude state, If you go on vacation, you may get noisy boobs when you get back. A small price to pay for looking like Pam Anderson I think.

Update – After talking to my doc, she agree’d that it was just an air pocket made from the expanding and contracting of the implant from the altitude and the flying. You all will be happy to know that 24-48 hours later, my boobs are once again silent.