My son wants his ear pierced

[Cara]

I have said no way. Not until they let him do it without parental consent. But my super savvy son has been googling and researching and has found that 11-12 is a good age because of the ear being devolped blah blah blah. So I am the parent and it isn't happening but I would like to continue the conversation with him about why I don't like it but am stuck with "Because I said so"
So give me some great responses to his why not? I just don't like it and don't think he should put a hole in his body before he knows if he will want it forever. The wierd thing is that I have no problems with little girls doing and think the younger the better but for some reason I am just not okay with him wanting or getting one.

[Lissa]

I am of no help. I wouldn't mind my son getting it as long as he was ready to take of it himself.

[Katie]

Do boys still only pierce one ear? My DH, and all the other males I can think of, have both ears pierced.

I would be okay with ear piercing if any of my kids wanted it done, buti know you didn't ask our opinion. ;-). It's just that it makes it harder to come up with a reason! I would say just go with the no body alterations until you don't need parental permission. Maybe let him know it's not just that you don't like how it looks (b/c obviously he does), but that you wouldn't be okay with any body piercings or tattoos until he has stopped growing and can consent on his own.

[DeniseAnn]

I'm with Lissa... sorry, and Katie they pierce both ears now... hugs Cara!!

[Lissa]

I have seen some kids with gauged ears in elementary school. I know that they grow back if you don't go past a certain size, but I still don't think that little boys, or girls, need gauged ears.

[AnnaP]

My friend's son wants it done and she doesn't want him to do it. I thought I'd dissuade him by saying a pierced ear is "so 80s". He replied, "The 80s are great!" Am I that flippin' old????

[Katie]

Kids/teens totally think the 80's were cool. Don't you see how they dress now? Especially at the mall? I always laugh in my head (or comment to my DD - who thinks it is cool), and then, yeah, I feel old. There are even acid-washed (skinny) jeans on teen boys.

[Katie]

However, I haven't noticed the one ear pierced. Two, and gauged - but not one. Could be in now, again, I guess!

[Hethyr]

I think you just need to be honest with him. If you are against any body alterations at this point, tell him that. In the end, you are the mom and if you are that against it, then I think that is what you tell him. :hugg :hugg

[AnnaP]

Agreed Hethyr.

[Kate]

No piercing and gauging is over my dead body! Marcus already knows not to even ask because the answer is no. I've told him he can do whatever when he's "in charge" of his own body when he's 18. But we've told him there may come a day when he doesn't want his ears pierced because of a job or whatever. Yes, the holes can close, but there's always a visible scar there.

He has a boy in his class that's gauging his ears , and I am completely against that. There isn't a person on the planet that looks good with giant gaping holes in their ears, and like it or not, your appearance DOES effect your employment opportunities. That might not matter to an 11-13 year old, but someday it will, so the answer is no.

And bottom line, I'm the Mom and I said so.

[Luffy76]

I would tell Hayden no too. Ally got her ears pierced a few months ago. If he ever brought that up I'd just have a talk with him about social appropriateness and that it's not standard for boys to have their ears pierced. Then I'd tell him it was similar to wearing a dress and I'm sure he'd back down ;)

[brandall]

No piercing and gauging is over my dead body! Marcus already knows not to even ask because the answer is no. I've told him he can do whatever when he's "in charge" of his own body when he's 18. But we've told him there may come a day when he doesn't want his ears pierced because of a job or whatever. Yes, the holes can close, but there's always a visible scar there.

He has a boy in his class that's gauging his ears , and I am completely against that. There isn't a person on the planet that looks good with giant gaping holes in their ears, and like it or not, your appearance DOES effect your employment opportunities. That might not matter to an 11-13 year old, but someday it will, so the answer is no.

And bottom line, I'm the Mom and I said so.

I'm in this camp. 18 to make drastic changes to your body (and mommy will be praying in the corner that at 18 the desire will have gone away!!!)

OASN: my dad and brothers are covered in tattoos - think full sleeves. I SO don't want my children to do that to themselves. Ivy has already noticed and calls them "stamps" She asked me if Grandpa's stamps got burned in the fire. I had no idea what she was talking about until she clarified :giggle

[Jennifer]

I agree with Hethyr too. I tell my kids that I really don't have to give a reason for my decisions. I try to include them in as much as possible but some things are simply NOT up for discussion. I can't give you a reason not to other than stick to your guns and don't feel bullied. You don't HAVE to give a reason. :hugg :hugg

[Alethia]

I agree with Hethyr, if you are against it just tell him you dont think he is ready for it. That you want him to make the decision later when he is older. I would be against any of the boys getting theirs ear(s) pierced until maybe 16-17. DH has one ear pierced, and he rarely wears an earing anymore, but he likes if occasionally. I personally would not a little girl gets her ears pierced until 12-13 either, but that me personally plus my mom, my grandma, and me all have problems with ear piercings getting infected really bad and stuff. So I wouldn't let my daughter get hers done until she was old enough to deal with those problems. But I have all boys so... Hopefully not until they are older if they want it at all.

[Zoe's Mom]

Interesting to think about. I'm not even sure I would let DD get her ears pierced until she was older. I had mine first done at the mall with mom's consent when I was 9 and had horrendous infections (think pus manually having to be squeezed out of red/stiff lobes daily and eventual antibiotics treatment - aughhh!) and so for that reason haven't even considered having hers done. Regardless, by the time I was like 14 I was doing them myself with safety pins ( I have several of such youthful indeiscretions totally healed over by now to include my nose and upper ear cartilage) so the not until 18 rule may not actually work out long term (better to be done professionally than with a safety pin IMHO). If I think about it actually, the fact that I have 5 visible (though healed holes in my ears) may not have been the best idea long term considering the eventual career I chose but then... My DS has a birthmark/dimple on his left ear lobe that actually resembles an ear piercing and I have actually been asked about it recently . I think left meant not gay in the 80's right (poor kid)? I think what I would do would be to tell him to think about it for a set space of time (like 1-2-3 years) and if he still wants it at the end of that time, then you will "consider" it (emphasis on "consider"). Fasions trend up and down and what is so utterly cool now may not be cool in a year. That's what my mother told me about the tattoo I desperately wanted at the age of 18 (when I was actually old enough for consent), she said, "give it a year, and if it is still really meaningful to do this at the end of that year, go ahead," and I heeded her advice and get a kick out of it now 20 years later every time I see the two friends who actually went through with getting those ultra-meaningful "affordable" tatoos back then (none of us can now remember what they mean ironically)! :goodluck

[AmyC]

I was just wondering the other day when A is going to ask to get his ears pierced. We couldn't rely say much though since dh has both ears pierced and I have my nose pierced. I am no help either. Sorry!

[Cara]

Well it has been an entire day without talking about it, so I am hoping he got when I said not until he can do it himself, but we will see. It isn't happening regardless, but I just like to be able to have a reason other than I said so because he can process it much better. The little boys don't question "Because I said so" but Zach questions everything. :giggle

[ummabear]

wow...i didn't know boys/men still pierced their ears! like someone said, isn't that totally 80's? DH pierced his ears when he was a teen, and has a little scar, but i really hope DS has no desire to pierce anything! the school he goes to requires uniforms and no piercings for boys, so if he stays at this school, well then, that's our answer i guess!

[battleax]

savvy children are a joy and a half to live with, IMO. "In Colorado a minor needs expressed informed consent from parent or legal guardian to receive a piercing or tattoo." only binds the folk in the mall or tattoo parlors. my child took care of that issue in a Kmart, with a big ol safety pin, with a friend, thru the tongue, right around the age of 13. she went on from there to wake me each day with a new hole in her face. She later became licensed to do such work on others, and she did speak with the parent if it was a minor, "expressed" and "informed" only mean getting an OK and the $. IMO, you'll want to arm your son with he has done his homework so far, don't fall for the easy or the disobedient route if it comes his way, but since he is set on this (meaning in his mind, " oh yeah! I want it forever !") he should also do more research, you can't just find what youre looking for and then stop looking, theres two sides of the coin, "what to do if it gets botched" should be considered, botched not only means infected, "looks offcenter" can really muck up your enthusiasm after your first piercing or tattoo ...he probably already came at you with the cost too. Has he already used the arguement of paying for it himself? in his research did he factor in the stuff you gotta buy besides the initial piercing/cleaner? how much can he "inform" you on all the other stuff on the net? in the future he will either get the consent from you or he will be of age to do it himself, do it by a professional only. malls offer good "deals", tattoo parlors offer (in some cases) an interesting experience or story to tell later, either way, you'd want to do some research first and get good recommendations vs what sailors are known for (regrettable whims).

(and like I said, "savvy children are a joy to live with", he'll think he's winning you over, how strong are you in your conviction? this can be a teachable moment tool or a "buying time til I come up with something better than I said so"... your "I just don't like it and don't think you should put a hole in your body before you know if you will want it forever" is close to its expiration date, if he is already 12. )