So you might remember me saying before about how I am trying this whole Elf on the Shelf thing. (Elf on the Shelf and other crap I do to make my kids behave)
That reminds me, I gotta go move the damn thing again… be right back.
Okay, phew, the creepy thing has been successfully thrown in the tree somewhere. That ought to keep the
brats er kids busy for a while, now where was I?! Ah yes, an Elf on the Shelf tragedy has happened. I learned of this story in our forums. Our own “Zoe’s Mom” (who has an amazeballs bento blog by the way) had a mishap while hiding the elf.
The elf on the shelf…great mommy move ! Perching the elf on the dining room chandelier where he can potentially tumble into one of the light bulbs when DD comes home and turns on the light….. Bad mommy move! Luckily no fire started…No one was harmed other than one rather adorable Christmas character…
Scene last night:
DH: What’s that burning smell?
Me : Is it out front? I don’t see smoke?!
DH: Already checked.
Me: The stove isn’t on?
DH: (who never ever cusses) “Oh S@#$T!!!!!!!!”
DD: (from upstairs) “what daddy! What’s wrong” (comes running down)
DH: (under his breath) “Quick bury it in the trash can, buy another one tomorrow!” (hands me a smoking, black, dripping elf missing half of his legs)
DH: “Nothing Peanut! Nothing is wrong!”
Looks like mommy is getting coal in her stocking this year!
Poor creepy elf… Poor Mommy! But really?! I’m cracking the hell up over here! This. Is. Priceless!
Then she gives us a photo! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR as if this couldn’t get any better!
Missing something there Elfy boy?!
Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get any ANY better…
Okay….Target no longer has any in stock…. The local Walmart no longer has any….I’ve been to both places today! I can probably find one online somewhere and spend like $40 bucks for expedited shipping, or I can just sit him sideways or have him wear a towel until the next one arrives? Maybe send DD an email telling her he is on vacation for a bit? DH even suggested we substitute one of the multitude of stupid Christmas animals/ toys we have sitting around and make up some story that “Pat D” got sick but that seems a little too much? Telling DD that the Elf was punished for something is of course out of the question…. Thoughts?
Here is EOTS minus his right leg (got it wrong in the prior post) as I shoved him so quickly in the garbage as DD was running downstairs shocked by Daddy’s exclamations…. His beatific smile even after his entire leg has been burned off (not to mention the burn up the other leg and on the crotch area-which you cannot see), and he has been buried in the garbage under a pizza box etc , somehow makes him look kind of….ummm…creepy….. Don’t you think?
I can’t stop laughing. Can’t. Breathe…
This here is hysterical. This damn elf has been giving me anxiety for 2 weeks. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks it’s creepy. We did let the mom know where to find a new one (there was even a book signing in Denver today) so hopefully a new one will be acquired shortly. I’ll keep y’all posted. 😉
disclosure: only one elf was harmed in this story. Do the elves have their own version of PETA? If so, we’re screwed.