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Is it illegal to sell your kids on ebay?

Just asking. No reason to investigate me or turn me into CPS. Really, just a question… So is it?!

Today was the day from Hell. Week from hell really. I started off the week sick as a dog, then my Grandma passed away and there is zero way I can make it back to Ohio to be with my family. Hubs is working, all sitters and potential sitters are out of the state/country, Parent/Teacher conferences, Karate lessons, therapies, oh my!

I woke up today deciding I was going to go back to being Pollyanna. Susie Sunshine. Busty LaRue, oh wait, I don’t think that’s right… Well anyway, I was going to plaster a big ass grin on my face and nothing will get me down!

Start of the day with a shower. Howsawhazzis? Yup, woke up without hitting snooze so I could get one in. Ahhhhh that’s better! Now off to get the kids ready. Baby was up, T was getting ready for school and Cartman, well, 2 outta 3 ain’t bad.

Cartman threw his usual “Idon’twannagetupyoucan’tmakeme” fit. But something was off. Got him ready for school when the stomach gurgling hit. Yup, he wasn’t going anywhere. He caught the stomach bug I had. Great. Just peachy. Well, we got T off to school and I thought Cartman would just snuggle up on the sofa with a movie and be good.


And he brought reinforcements… Training his baby brother to be just as evil as he is. Shitake Mushrooms. I’m outnumbered.

Chewy decides to attack first. Grinding a cup of cereal into the carpet. I go upstairs to get the vacuum and take 2 min to use the restroom, come downstairs to find someone has colored in bright blue sharpie all over my walls, sofa, curtains, tv and a few picture frames. FML.

Sometime during this chaos, Sad Puppy goes missing. Sad Puppy is Cartman’s fave stuffed animal/best friend in the world. He’s had him for 5 years. So now I have a semi-sick wailing kid crying over a beanie baby and a toddler running away from the vacuum. Wait, there’s more… that toddler is nekkid as a jay bird with a diaper on his head yelling “nananananananana”. My life is so frickin’ glamorous.

So I’ve clothed the toddler, found Sad Puppy and got the kids to behave for 3 minutes until Therapy time. Our therapists are used to our craziness, so luckily they didn’t run screaming when they saw the look of “I need a stiff drink NOW” on my face as I greeted them at the door.

Chewy didn’t want to do therapy today so instead he ran all around for the 1st hour, ignoring us. 2nd therapy time and he decides to throw a 45 min fit. Vunderful. Therapy over, toddler in bed, commence crying. Both of us.

Chewy cried for TWO HOURS STRAIGHT. Like the screaming, kicking, getthehellawayfrommeorIwillcutyou type tantrum. I finally had enough and put the kids in the car to grab the oldest from school.

Get home now with 3 kids and decide to clean. This is code for my children. They know if Mommy is pissed off enough to start scrubbing, you better watch out. Surprisingly the two older kids have been perfect angels since then. Toddler? Notsomuch. Chewy has been throwing toys, tantrums and his diaper at anyone in his path. He’s in what we lovingly call “Baby Jail” right now. His crib, forced nap, early bedtime, I don’t give a damn as long as he isn’t wreaking havoc on me.

Wine me. ASAP.

P.S. I was making the kids dinner (Pizza night ’cause I don’t feel like cooking) and I just burned my arm. A big quarter sized chunk of skin is blistered. ‘Cause, why not?!

P.P.S. (this is where the boys would snicker and giggle… “Mom said P.P.”

P.P.P.S. I’m pouring a glass of wine. Or three.

P.P.P.P.S. Apparently is IS illegal to sell kids on ebay or craigslist so “don’t try this at home”.