You Better Blog Yourself Eminem Parody (sidenote: Mr. Em- don’t sue me kthxbai)

you better never let it go… Sing it with me now!

So to avoid any real work today, I was sorting laundry and naturally singing eminem songs, ’cause, like DUH! He get’s you pumped!

I started singing the chorus to Lose Yourself with bloggy references and then this came out of me.

Some of it probably doesn’t make sense or fit perfect, but hey! I’m no Al Yankovich! (spell check totally knows how to spell his last name too. wordpress 1. emily 0.)

Okay, let’s cue the music up… And sing along peoples!

 

Blog Yourself – sung to Eminem’s Lose Yourself, written by ME! The awesome Emily Vanek of ColoradoMoms.com.

Look,

If you had, one blog, one twitter account, to tell the world everything you ever wanted, get some comments, would you captcha it? Or just let them slip?

 

Yo,

Her palms are sweaty, hands cramping, arms are heavy, 

there’s coffee on her sweater already, Starbucks a venti

She’s nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready

to just drop reviews, but she just keeps on forgetting 

what she wrote down, her email just grows so loud, 

she opens new post but the words don’t go down

She’s tweetin, how? Everyone’s on Facebook now, groups run down, 

Time’s up, Pinterest Now!

 

Snap back to reality, Oh their goes this browser, oh there goes that browser

She choked, she’s so mad, she won’t give up instagraming, No, she won’t get reddit, 

She knows this whole back up process but it don’t matter, 

She’s dope, she know that, 

what she wrote, but it’s her stats, 

and she knows when she goes back to her wordpress admin, that it’s back to the plugins again yo, this whole blog shit, 

she better go do this review and hope it don’t crash again.

 

You better Blog Yourself in the wordpress, in the moment, like you own it 

you better never let it go, 

you only get one post, do not hate on brands, oh no!

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo 

 

Her words escaping, through this vlog that she’s taping 

This camera is mine and it’s shaking, 

Conferences, as we move toward a, new york BlogHer

A normal wife is borin, but superstardom’s just for the Bloggess

It only grows harder, stats grow less 

She mulls its all over, her blog is all on it

Post to Post shows, she’s knows as the webfather

Lonely roads, God only knows 

She’s “just stayin at home”, she’s no father 

Hubs comes home and has to make his own dinner 

Don’t hold your breath cuz she’s pickin the next winner

Her readers don’t want them no mo, she’s used rafflecopter

They moved on to the next schmoe who blogs 

stats nose dove and ads nada 

So the soap opera is told and unfolds 

she sold her iPhone and the beat goes on 

Da da dum da dum da da 

 

You better Blog Yourself in the wordpress, in the moment, like you own it 

you better never let it go, 

you only get one post, do not hate on brands, oh no!

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo 

 

You better Blog Yourself in the wordpress, in the moment, like you own it 

you better never let it go, 

you only get one post, do not hate on brands, oh no!

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo 

 

No more games, I’ma change what you call rates 

Tear this motha****** roof off like 2 moms caged 

I was playin with kiddins , the mood all changed 

I been chewed on and spit up and poo’d on face

But I kept writin and the changin the next diaper 

Best believe somebody’s payin for a nanny hire 

All the rage inside amplified by the fact 

That I can’t get hired by 9 to 5 

Cause I can’t find the right type of daycare for my kiddies 

Cuz man, these goddam teenagers don’t work hard 

And it’s no reality tv, there’s no woman of Pioneer, this is my life 

And these events are so hard and it’s getting even harder 

Tryin to sign up and get a fee, plus

Teeter totter, caught up between bein a mother and a famous blogga 

Bloggy mama drama’s goin on over about 

G Plus for me to wanna 

Stay on blogspot, another day of coding

Has gotten me to the point, I’m like a snail 

I’ve got to formulate a plot fore I end up in twitter jail or not

WordPress is my only motha****** option, typepads not 

Blog, I love you, but this theme has got to go 

I cannot grow old with Blogspot

So here I go is my shot. 

FTP fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

 

You better Blog Yourself in the wordpress, in the moment, like you own it 

you better never let it go, 

you only get one post, do not hate on brands, oh no!

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo 

 

You better Blog Yourself in the wordpress, in the moment, like you own it 

you better never let it go, 

you only get one post, do not hate on brands, oh no!

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!!

 

(special apology to Eminem for butchering his song.) Now to give you something actually useful! If you are going to BlogHer 12… keep reading. You’re Welcome.

So BlogHer can be overwhelming and their app is great and all, but if it’s not written on paper or typed and printed, I forget about it. Molly at Go Mom! made this super awesome type-in-able (yes, it’s a word) pdf to keep track of your sessions, brand meetings, offsite events, parties and flight info! Check out her post on How to Organize Your BlogHer Schedule and get the link to the FREE pdf! (Free is good!) and don’t forget to check out her other awesome products. I bought the DIY planner last month and LIVE by it!

Okay, go forth and try to get that earworm outta your head while you pack for New York. 😉